Na-Spirit

Slightly better than other fake whiskeys, but only slightly.

A pretty good approximation of a rum and coke.

Unlike their rum and coke, this is gross and tastes like soap.

An interesting flavor that doesn't quite land solo, but has potential as a mocktail ingredient.

Especially nasty, even by fake-tequila standards.

A genuinely great standalone spirit with a nice citrus/smoky/spicy balance — huge mocktail potential, still looking for its perfect recipe.

Smoky and spicy, feels like more than a soda — a real find for mezcal fans.

The default answer behind most bars' mocktail menus — better used to slow down a low-ABV cocktail than as a true zero-alcohol substitute.

Kind of meh on its own — might be an interesting mocktail ingredient, but no recipe found yet.

Easy to imagine someone else liking this — just wasn't a personal fit.

Probably the best NA "gin" out there — robust and heavy on the juniper.

A little witchy to drink alone; might work as a mocktail ingredient, but the ideal recipe hasn't turned up yet, and it spoils fast.

Nasty — had to pour it down the drain.

Tasty and low sugar, with an unusual mushroom-and-monk-fruit edge that won't be for everyone.

The best of the fake mezcals — but only worth it if you liked real mezcal to begin with.

Fine enough, but not great, and not worth the sugar.

A convincing daiquiri from a brand that keeps winning — no idea how they do it.

Tasty enough, but doesn't taste particularly grownup — adding Monday "mezcal" didn't help.

It's everywhere, but it's one of the worse fake bourbons on the shelf.

A bit much to drink solo, but a genuinely good building block for mocktails.

A very convincing rendition of a gin and tonic.

None of the NA gins are truly good, but this is the closest — makes a nice-ish martini shaken with a lemon twist.

Slightly better than other NA gins, with a nice peppery bite — but Monday and Ish gins are still better.

Another winner from Parch — a delightful, complex citrus, less smoky than their Piñarita.

A darn good approximation of a cosmo — a few drops of Bitter Tears' "Kiki" bitters adds bite without changing the flavor much.

Not rum, but it has real potential — one of the few NA spirits with actual bite.

Nasty solo, and a genuinely hard pair even for mocktails — eventually poured down the drain for good.

Spicy enough to make even a rough fake tequila almost palatable when mixed.

A super tasty jack-and-coke stand-in, just not special enough — and a lot of sugar (17g).

An overwhelming, unfocused mess of a flavor profile — expensive, too, despite the pretty bottle.